Hi Friends!
I am sorry it has been SO long since I last emailed. So I will also apologize right now that this email is going to be WAAAY too long because I am always too wordy and there is lots to update. Just saying it upfront so you can be prepared. :)
Our life with Mattie and the struggles with school has been a roller coaster to say the least. I have not written until now because I felt like things could change at any point and I didn't want to inundate anyone with too many "updates". I have been under tremendous stress due to Mattie's struggles. I think because I am a former teacher, I internalize a lot more stress centered around school and Mattie's education in particular. Also, Mattie has not been herself since we've moved here. Things are better... Mattie is tolerating school better. It has been ROUGH... a couple of times I would show up to school to drop something off and if Mattie would see me she would cry and beg to come home. That is NOT her!
I called the other school that I was interested in and found out that they are not "officially" taking Choice enrollment right now... meaning that because we live outside of their school boundary that there is not a good chance we could get into that school right now. In Colorado, we have choice enrollment in that if there is room in a school, I can choose to send my child there no matter where I live. I can drive 2 hours to school if I so choose. But the key is "if there is room." I don't think that Wilmot is totally full and I might be able to wiggle my way in... but for now I have dropped that option and I have been focussing on helping Mattie where she is.
Mattie's school... as I said before it has been a roller coaster but things are improving. I did find out that the whole school is not all about worksheets... just Mattie's teacher. (I guess we "lucked" out.) The day after I wrote my last update there was a principal's coffee that I signed up to go to. It amazed me to hear all these parents RAVING about the school and how much they LOVE the teachers, etc. I could not figure out what was amiss with my daughter! So after the coffee, I asked if the principal had a few minutes to chat with me. I sat down in her office and laid it out for her... that Mattie was miserable and hating school and that my impressions were that the kids did worksheets all day. I asked her if most of the classes were worksheet heavy. She responded no and then proceeded to take me around to some 4th and 5th grade classes to show me otherwise. I walked into a 4th grade teacher's classroom where there were soil samples hanging on the wall and microscopes out on a table. They had just finished exploring the iron in the soil with magnets. YES!! That is EXACTLY what I want to see going on in class! This teacher also had pet guinea pigs, a bearded dragon, and fish! Yay! I had a few minutes to talk to this teacher and we connected right away. She invited Mattie to come and hang out after school in her room to see the guinea pigs. We have been visiting her room now several days a week after school and this has been a source of real light for us! But that does not solve our issues for this year's class.
We have looked into to switching classrooms. I did some observing in the other 3rd grade class, but I am not convinced it is different enough to pull Mattie away from the one best friend she has made in her class.
Mattie's biggest struggles this year in class have been centered around keeping up with the work. Keeping up with the work requires that she is able to focus enough to get work done in class. It also means that she is doing a lot of writing because there are lots of worksheets. She has always struggled with writing and especially focus. I think that in the past she has been able to get away with not completing work at her old school in California. And this year, things are stepped up a notch and she is more accountable. So that adds up to Mattie feeling overwhelmed.
Bob and I decided it was time to get some testing done. It was becoming obvious to us that Mattie's struggles were a bit out of the realm of ordinary. Bob and his father are both dyslexic and my brother (and possibly my dad) are also dyslexic. So we signed Mattie up to get some testing done at the University of Denver. They did an array of educational testing that was 6-7 hours broken into 2 main days and a little more on a 3rd day. Mattie didn't mind the testing too much. I had to fill out a 30 page questionnaire before they would even schedule Mattie for testing. I had to answer questions about how many months old Mattie was when she... sat up, rolled over back to front, rolled over front to back, talked, walked, etc... the list goes on! Luckily, I had my blog to look on with all that info and more! What amazed me was reading some of my posts about Mattie and realizing we have been dealing with many of the same issues with Mattie since she was 2 or 3 years old.
Well... we had a 2 1/2 hour meeting last Friday with the neuropsychologist and the grad student who administered the tests and it came back that Mattie has fairly significant ADHD as well as mild dyslexia. I was not surprised about the ADD part... but I did not expect ADHD and I did not expect it to be quite that significant. Basically, there is a wide spectrum with ADHD. But if you were to rate it from 1 to 10, Mattie would be at a 7 or 8. I have learned that ADHD reveals itself very differently in girls and that many girls often go undiagnosed because their symptoms are not always "classic". All I know is that Mattie has struggled with school long enough and I am VERY excited to find her some help! We also learned that Mattie is very bright. We knew she was bright, but the tests confirmed very high scores in verbal and language abilities as well as math problem solving. It is because she is bright she as compensated for her mild dyslexia and ADHD and done "fine." We were also a bit surprised about the dyslexia piece because Mattie is a solid reader reading at a 5th grade level right now. But I think she is able to "fill in the gaps" so to speak when she reads and she does not actually read all the words. Also, sadly, her testing revealed she had a significant amount of anxiety and potentially mild depression. We don't know if this was exacerbated by our move and her dislike of her teacher this year or not.
So now we have a whole new realm to explore. I have a LOT of learning to do about ADHD and dyslexia. We are going to seek out a pediatrician that was recommended by the psychologist at the U of Denver. I have an appointment set up for next week. We are also going to seek out cognitive behavior psychologist at the recommendation of the neuropsychologist at the U of Denver. I am nervous about this, though. A therapist can be a lifesaver... but how do I pick the right one? The neuropsychologist recommended one in Evergreen but I looked her up online and she only had 2 reviews at 3 stars. What do I do with that information? I don't know. Maybe I could meet with her first. That is one thing that is REALLY hard about being in a new and strange place... I don't know who to ask for advice and I don't have my wide support network to ask around for advice. It is hard. But I guess I will have to do my best and hope that God and lead us to the right people
Meanwhile... her current teacher has made steps to introduce more hands on and creative experiences in her classroom. The principal sat in on our parent teacher conference and I spoke up and said that I felt like there were too many worksheets all day and that I thought that kids should be creative and having hands on and exploratory experiences. Well, maybe the squeaky wheel got the grease. I think it is for the betterment of ALL children to not have too many worksheets to do. Hopefully, Mattie will continue to improve her opinion of school. I have been doing a lot of "behind the scenes" work to help Mattie with her school work to better prepare her for the next day's work. It's a lot of work, but I think it is helping. Mattie feels more supported.
Well... that is IT! You are now updated! ;)
It's a lot. It has been very stressful. Other than the issues with Mattie, we continue to love being here in Colorado. I am not letting all these issues with Mattie be an "omen" for not living here. I do not think God is trying to tell us to move back to Sunnyvale... at least not at this point. It just makes me so sad that Mattie has had such big struggles. However, if there is a silver lining to that, it is that because she has been miserable, it pushed us into getting her tested. I am hopeful that we can start working on ways to help her and that she will feel more successful. I read that girls with ADHD often start to question their intelligence and self worth and are prone to depression. And things can get much worse in the teen years. So I am glad we are seeking help NOW when things are manageable.
I would love prayers:
*That we would find a good therapist for Mattie that is a good fit.
*That the pediatrician I am meeting with this week will be a good fit.
*That we would find a church home (we went to one church on Sunday that is a good potential.)
*That I would have the patience and endurance to deal with Mattie when she is difficult.
*That there would be continued improvements in Mattie's class in regards to hands-on, fun, and creative activities.
*That God would give me wisdom and guidance as to knowing if her current school is actually best for her for the long haul or if I need to seek out somewhere else.
*That I would find friends and ways to "get out". Maybe some exercise outlets.
I am thankful to God:
*That we got Mattie tested and that we are on a road of help for her.
*That despite it being REALLY hard, I am glad we are in Colorado and I love looking out my windows EVERY day at Creation.
*I feel like I have made 1 friend so far that I have gone walking with a few times. I think she is Catholic, so we share that same foundation and faith, even if we haven't talked about it much yet.
Thanks, friends! I love you all!
Val :)
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